


when the beat of my drum meets the beat of your heart

by newblooms



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Music Store, Homophobia, M/M, idk - Freeform, some smut later maybe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6472240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newblooms/pseuds/newblooms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>youngjae needed some sheet music and jaebum needed some inspiration</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sing for You

**Author's Note:**

> the summary is so bad and so cheesy im sorry im so bad at them. thanks to ericka, gracie, n madi i guess

It’s a short walk to the shop and Jaebum walks fast, wanting to escape the cold, snow dampening his hair and freezing his fingers. He stops at the bookstore next door to say hello to the owner, Jinyoung, before jingling the key into the sticky lock and pushing the old doors open. 

The music store is small, smaller than Jaebum had hoped for, but there wasn't much he could buy with the little money he had from what his parents had saved for his college and loans and working odd jobs. Jaebum likes to think there’s something about the simplicity of it, it’s homey and a little cramped, but Jaebum likes the certain charm it has to it. It’s just a small open space with a back room for inventory and a second tiny room for the few private lessons he gets, but it’s all his and he prides himself in it. 

Jaebum undoes his scarf putting it in the back, along with his coat, rubbing his hands together as he moves to warm himself up. He turns on the stereo behind the counter, Isley Brothers streaming through the space, and makes quick work of unboxing and organizing the shipment of albums that had come in the night before. 

Most days it’s tedious work at best, helping the customers that trickle in throughout the day, mostly teenagers looking for albums or parents looking for instruments for their kids. He has a few kids that come in for lessons, but those are quick and only once a week. Jaebum makes enough off the shop to break even with some leftover to pay for his rent and his food (most of the time). It's not a life of luxury, but it's what he loves and he gets to be his own boss, so, for the most part, he's content. 

Jinyoung, as usual, stops by midday to eat with Jaebum, just as Jaebum is bringing a seat for the other. Its Jinyoung’s turn to bring them lunch and he comes armed with warm homemade kimchi stew and hot chocolate for the both of them.

“Have I ever told you you’re my favorite friend?” Jaebum asks, drinking the last of his mug. 

“I’m your only friend, Jae,” Jinyoung retorts, handing Jaebum a napkin to wipe the remains from his upper lip. Jaebum glares at him and Jinyoung snorts, shaking his head. 

"I sold that first addition I've had for forever, by the way. Y'know, the one I'm always complaining about?" Jinyoung says after they finish eating. 

Jaebum nods, "what poor sucker bought from you?"

"This little old lady came in and offered me less than what it was appraised, but, like, how do you say no to someone like that?"

"Just tell her you have a new hot boy and that now a vast majority of your income goes to lube." Jinyoung glowers at him, bawling up a napkin and throwing it at Jaebum's face.

“I fucking wish I was getting some. Mark hasn't laid a finger in me since our kiss on our first date,” Jinyoung sighs.

"Aren't you usually easy enough to fuck on the first date if he's hot enough?”

“Oh, trust me, I do. It's not me who is against putting his dick in me, it's Mark,” Jinyoung whines.

“Maybe he's just abiding to the three date rule,” Jaebum offers.

“It's been five dates.”

“Yikes.”

“I mean, am I really that unappealing to him?” Jinyoung asks. Jaebum flashes back briefly to two years ago when he and Jinyoung had their own first date that inevitably lead to them fucking on Jinyoung’s couch. It had been awkward the next day when they saw each other at their own shops and decided that staying friends was undoubtedly the best route.

“You and I both know you could get any dick you wanted,” Jaebum jokes, patting Jinyoung reassuringly on the back.

“You thought about when we fucked, didn't you?” Jinyoung smiles, waggling his eyebrows at Jaebum.

“Go back to your shop, heathen.”

Jinyoung leaves soon after that, not trusting his new hire, Yugyeom, to be alone for too long and Jaebum goes back to his work. 

The store is silent, aside from a little hum Jaebum's music, empty of customers. He doesn't mind the lack of business, the silence allowing him to concentrate on his compositions. He has hundreds of them- thousands of sheets of music scattered around every room in his home. He never does anything with them, has never let anyone see them. Jinyoung is the only one who knows about them, but he's never let the younger ever read them. He had called Jaebum old fashioned when he saw him scribbling in his notebook one day, said that everybody just uses programs on their laptops not actual keyboards or _paper_ , but this is what Jaebum knows, it's what's familiar. Jaebum used to think he could make it big time, become a famous composer or a producer, or for some time even an idol for a big company, but those dreams were squashed early on and he hasn't looked back. 

The one he's working on now is easily his favorite work. He wonders if he'll actually do something with this one, send it to the company who killed his dream before it could even really begin, try once more to make a name for himself after all these years. A voice in the back of his head tells him what he already knows deep down though, that he'll hate it by the time he's done with it and it'll end up with the rest of scribbled notes filling the boxes on shelves in his apartment like all the rest of his discarded thoughts.  
But, for now, he fiddles with the bridge. 

He doesn't hear the door open, headphones fixed over his ears, nor does he see the boy in front of the door, shaking snow off his shoulders. 

The customers scans the shop with curious eyes wringing his hands in front of him and biting his lips. He waits for the person sitting behind the desk to notice him, but the other man is too engrossed in his keyboard to see any of his surroundings. 

The boy studies to musician carefully, furrowed brows and an angry scowl sketching his face. If he listens close enough he can hear the light tinkling of keys. It's a nice melody from what he can hear. That is until the man playing slams his head down on the keys, picking his headphones off his head and grunting in frustration.  
The customer squeaks in surprise and Jaebum finally looks up at the blond boy. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't even notice you come in. You haven't been here long, have you?" Jaebum asks, stepping off his stool.

"Um, I - no, it's okay. I just walked in?" the other stutters out, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Oh, good. Well, I'm Jaebum." Jaebum extends a hand out, smiling slightly. 

"Hi, Youngjae. I mean- I'm Youngjae." He grabs Jaebum's hand, shaking wildly. "Sorry, sorry," he mumbles, letting go of the hand.

Jaebum laughs, eyes slightly crinkling shut. "It's good. I'm glad you're excited, what can I do for you?" 

"I need a song, I guess. My school is having a spring showcase and I really want to impress people. It’s my first showcase so I want it to be good and preferably something with piano accompaniment because that's the only instrument I currently know how to play. It has to be good, like really really good. I know what some other students are planning and their song choices are fantastic, I don't know how the chose to easily. And it has to go with a classic piece our professor gave to us. My piece is kinda slow so I was thinking a ballad. A ballad goes nice with piano, right?” Youngjae rambles off quickly, his hands flying around him as he talks. Jaebum stares at him as he talks, eyes going wide. Youngjae finally takes a breath, looking at Jaebum with pleading eyes, “Can you help me?”

“Uh - I’ll try my best. Follow me.” Jaebum guides Youngjae over to the shelves of sheet music and starts scanning through them. “You said ballad, right?”

“Yeah, I think something slow would also showcase my voice the best,” Youngjae replies, biting his fingernails. Jaebum nods, turning back to the bookcase. 

“Trot?” Youngjae mulls it over, chewing his lip before shaking his head no. 

“English or Korean?” 

“Korean, my English isn't very good,” Youngjae replies softly, like he’s disappointed in himself. 

“It’s alright, mine isn’t either,” Jaebum says to him and Youngjae practically beams. 

“I want it to be a song that people know, but like aren’t expecting. A song where when you hear it you’re like, ‘Oh, I haven’t heard this song in a while, I love this song’ do you know what I mean?” 

Jaebum shakes his head and starts to scan the bookshelves once again. 

“I think I have something somewh- ah, here we go.” Jaebum pulls a packet of sheet music off the shelf, turning it over and handing it over to Youngjae. 

“Confession from a friend?” Youngjae says, reading over the notes. A smile takes over his face as he looks back up at Jaebum. “It’s perfect, why didn’t I think of it? A strong ballad with powerful lyrics, it’s exactly what I need.” 

“Do you want to run it?” Jaebum asks, finger pointing at the keyboard behind the desk. Youngjae nods his head enthusiastically. Jaebum watches him in amusement as Youngjae prepares himself, almost becoming a whole different person. It amazes him how Youngjae can go from the stuttering, over enthusiastic boy into this serious professional singer as Jaebum hits the first note. 

Jaebum’s shocked by the sound coming out of the boy. It's steady and loud, full of a unique tone. But what he also notices is the lack of emotions Youngjae shows when he sings. He understands, he used to be the same way until he began to write lyrics and truly started to listen to what singers were trying to say with their music. He can tell Youngjae is thinking of techniques and pitch and breathing instead of listening to the words and connecting with them. It’s practically perfect, vocal wise, but there’s something missing that’s setting Youngjae back.

Jaebum lets him finish, holding the final note. Youngjae catches his breath and looks up at Jaebum with hopeful eyes before asking what he thought. 

"You're extremely talented, that's obvious, but when you sing you don't connect with the song,” Jaebum starts, almost stopping when Youngjae’s smile diminishes a fraction. “You just hear the words instead of understanding them. You can be the most talented person on earth, but if you don't have any emotions behind your singing people will get bored,'' Jaebum explains and Youngjae rubs the back of his neck. "You want people to feel what you're singing about."

"The lady at my admissions audition said the same thing,” Youngjae sighs, biting his lip. “I thought I had been getting better at it. I guess I was wrong,” Youngjae says, sounding defeated. “Do you know how to help it?" 

"I always liked to imagine I'm singing to someone, especially with songs like these. Do you have someone you're seeing, or just someone you have a crush on?" Jaebum asks, smirking when Youngjae's cheeks flush pink. "So you do, ok, just imagine I'm her. C'mon Youngjae _oppa_ ," Jaebum teases. "You have something to sing for me?" Youngjae's whole face goes red as Jaebum raises his voice up an octave. " _Oppa_ , sing for me." Jaebum pouts and Youngjae almost chokes. " _Opp -_ "

"Stop, stop, okay." Youngjae sighs, taking a deep breath before signaling for Jaebum to start playing again. Jaebum does so, signaling Youngjae once again. He can tell Youngjae's a quick learner, can see that Youngjae has listened to what Jaebum told him and is working on making his emotions appear clearly on his face. He finishes with ease, voice faltering off and Jaebum gives me a huge grin. It’s not as vocally precise as the last run, but Jaebum could barely tell, too entranced with Youngjae’s voice to take serious note. 

"So much better," Jaebum tells the blond, who's ears turn pink. 

"Really!? Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it, hyung," Youngjae says quietly. 

“It’s no problem, I’m happy to help anytime you need it,” Jaebum replies, ruffling Youngjae’s hair softly. 

Youngjae smiles brightly as he waves goodbye to Jaebum, promising to work hard on what Jaebum told him.

//////

Youngjae comes back in the next day while Jaebum is eating lunch with Jinyoung. They were in a heated argument about whether Jinyoung’s kimchi jjigae was too salty when Youngjae walks through the door, making Jinyoung fall silent.

"You're back!" Jaebum exclaims when he turns around to see what Jinyoung is looking at.

"Yeah, um, I realized I didn't pay for the music yesterday." Youngjae runs his hand over the back of his neck, looking between Jinyoung and Jaebum. "Is this a bad time? I can come back later or tomorrow," Youngjae stutters, turning towards the door. 

"Don't be ridiculous, sit, and forget about the book, it's on the house. Do you want some food?" Jaebum asks, pulling a chair up for Youngjae. 

"I - no, are you sure it's not a bad time?"

"No, no, you're fine. This is Jinyoung, by the way. He owns the bookstore next door,” Jaebum points to Jinyoung, sitting down again. Jinyoung smiles up at Youngjae and the younger boy feels better looking at the soft eye smile. 

“Hi, I’m Youngjae,” Youngjae sits down on the chair Jaebum pulled up for him, rubbing his hands up and down his thighs.

“Youngjae, we should run through your solo for Jinyoung so you’re ready for an audience,” Jaebum says, stuffing the last piece of food into his mouth. 

“Are you sure you’re not busy? I don’t want to inconvenience you. You can tell me to leave, I promise I’ll understand.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, this is probably the most fun Jaebum will have all day. Aside from seeing me, of course,” Jinyoung comments, grinning widely as Jaebum glares at him while setting up his keyboard. Youngjae takes the music out of his backpack as Jinyoung smiles encouragingly at him. 

“Ready?” Jaebum asks and Youngjae nods, ears turning slightly red at the attention. He clears his throat once before signaling Jaebum to start. Jaebum can see easily that Youngjae has taken his advice and practiced, emotions of the song clear on his face. 

Jinyoung claps loudly as Youngjae breaks off and Youngjae blushed lightly, thanking him. “You’re quite the talent, why are you bothering with Jaebum?” 

“Don’t you have books to watch or something,” Jaebum retorts, smacking the back of Jinyoung’s head. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll go. Youngjae, it was nice to meet you, I hope I get the pleasure again. Jaebum, it was not nice to meet you, but I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jinyoung says, making his way to the door. 

“That really was good; much better than yesterday,” Jaebum tells Youngjae, turning back to look at the younger as he cleaned up the trash from his and Jinyoung’s lunch. 

“Thanks, hyung,” Youngjae mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. “I - uh, actually came here to ask you something.” 

“Okay, ask away.”

“Could you maybe give me lessons?” Youngjae asks nervously, staring down at the floor. 

“Isn’t that what you go to school for?” Jaebum asks, brows furrowed. 

“I mean, yeah, but I’m trying to get really accustomed to new instruments and my school is really big so it’s not, like, one-on-one help with a hundred other kids in the room, y’know?” Youngjae explains, looking up at Jaebum. “If you don’t want to I completely understand.” 

“No, no, I would be happy to.”

“Really?!” Youngjae exclaims. “Thank you, hyung! I’ll pay you, I can pay, how much is your rate per lesson?” Jaebum reaches up and ruffles Youngjae’s mess of blond hair. 

“You don’t need to worry about paying me. It’s for fun, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to teach you anything.” Youngjae throws his arms around Jaebum, crushing him in a hug as Jaebum grunts at the impact. “Ok, Youngjae, Youngjae, I can’t breathe.” 

“Sorry, sorry, hyung. I’m just so excited. I mean I like my other teacher, but he’s so old and, we just, we don’t click.” Youngjae rambles on and Jaebum can’t help but smile at how adorable the younger boy was. “So when should I come by?” he asks as he finishes his rant. 

“Anytime between nine am and seven pm I’m here, except on Sundays. Jinyoung is usually here around noon for food, but he’s fine with it, he just sits here and complains anyway,” Jaebum tells him and Youngjae nods eagerly. 

“I’ll be here! You’ll be sick of me I’ll be here so much!” Youngjae says, bouncing as he leaves the shop. Somehow Jaebum doesn’t think that’s possible.


	2. The Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for everyone who read the first chapter! when I first uploaded it it was missing about 700 words so if you read it before I fixed it I suggest reading the real ending but u don't have to. unbeta'd as always so sorry for mistakes

Youngjae begins to come every few days and eventually starts to show up everyday. The two fall into a sort of pattern with each other. Mondays, wednesdays, and fridays Youngjae shows up midday while Jaebum’s having lunch with Jinyoung. Youngjae starts bringing his own lunch and engages easily into their conversations, though he seems to have picked up on Jinyoung’s habits of bullying Jaebum. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Youngjae comes later, his classes not letting out until past four. He always stops by to see Jinyoung on those days before making his way into Jaebum’s shop. He stays until Jaebum closes, always making sure he isn’t overstaying his welcome, no matter how many times Jaebum tells his he could never. 

Though Jaebum usually enjoys being alone in the shop, he welcomes the change graciously. Youngjae is a like a beam of sunlight constantly shining through the small space and Jaebum doesn’t want the newfound brightness to ever dim.

Youngjae helps Jaebum organize and shelve and clean up whenever he can. Jaebum is positive he helps to somehow pay back for the lessons, but whenever Jaebum brings up that he has no debt to pay, Youngjae just smiles and says he wants to help. Jaebum doesn't push it, glad to have Youngjae's company. 

Jaebum gives him lessons in piano, guitar, vocals, and occasionally helps with basic composition when Youngjae is having a particularly hard time in class. One day Jinyoung sees them working on a composition for Youngjae’s class and tells the youngest about the series of stashed away music Jaebum never finished, Youngjae turning to him with wide eyes asking to hear some of it. Jaebum, as always, refuses telling him what he tells everyone - no one hears his work until it's done.

“But, hyung, you help me with my compositions for school isn’t it the same thing,” Youngjae asked after Jaebum told him he couldn’t see his works.

“No, not really. Those are all you, I just help you when you need it. I don’t let people hear anything of mine for a reason.” Youngjae looked so sad in that moment that Jaebum had almost caved. Almost. 

He teaches Youngjae about music from outside the sphere of what he learns at school and works to help the younger learn about all aspects that go into making a song. Youngjae sits and listens attentively, always with childlike wonder splashed across his face. He’s bright and quick to pick up everything Jaebum throws at him. He brings Jaebum his homework for help and shows off him good grades when he gets them back. He even tried to get Jaebum to teach him how to b-boy after Jaebum lets it slip he used to dance in the streets. 

Jinyoung helps him with his other work with his other work, teaching him about literature and poetry (with an occasional English lesson) and everything Jaebum doesn't know about. Youngjae tells them one day that he should just drop out and give his tuition to Jinyoung and Jaebum because he learns more at the two small shops than he does in all his classes at his huge university. 

Jaebum likes his new routine and can feel himself getting excited to see Youngjae when he gets up every morning. He enjoys teaching Youngjae and simply likes being around the younger. It's easy between the two of them, their list of things in common growing with everyday. Jinyoung makes fun of the way his eyes light up when he sees the flash of blond hair behind the door, but Jaebum can’t help it, he’s happier having Youngjae to entertain him than he’s been in years. 

It's been almost three months since Jaebum first met Youngjae, when the younger comes running excitedly into the shop, just as Jinyoung and Jaebum sit down for lunch. Jinyoung had made cupcakes and bento boxes to celebrate him finally sleeping with Mark when he throws the door open, smiling widely, eyes bright and animated despite the deep bags hanging under them. 

“What’s got you so excited?” Jinyoung asks, sitting down next to Jaebum. 

“My teacher was impressed by my piece for the showcase so she gave me the first spot on the lineup,” Youngjae explains, mouth full with the food he stole from Jaebum’s plate. “I get to open the show!” he sings, dancing slightly with the chopsticks still in his hands. 

“That’s great news! Congrats!” Jinyoung exclaims. 

“Thanks, hyung! You guys are going to come, right? And Yugyeom, too?” Youngjae asks, looking between Jinyoung and Jaebum. He had finally met Yugyeom about a month prior when Yugyeom had come running into Jaebum’s shop to grab Jinyoung for some binding emergency. They hit it off so fast that most days Jinyoung just closed shop altogether during lunch and let Yugyeom come with him to eat lunch with him, Jaebum, and Youngjae. 

“Of course we’ll be there; wouldn’t miss it,” Jaebum says fondly, smiling widely as Youngjae’s eyes light up and he throws his arms around the two of them. Youngjae pulls away and Jaebum ushers him into a seat.“Jinyoung and I were actually already celebrating, come join us.” Jaebum shoves a cupcake into Youngjae’s hand and a piece of sushi into his mouth before Youngjae can even reply. 

“What are you celebrating?” Youngjae asks as he finishes the sushi. 

“Jinyoung finally got laid.”

“You make it sound like I was a virgin,” Jinyoung replies, throwing Jaebum a glare. 

“Well, we both know that’s certainly not true. But I am glad Mark finally stuck it in so you can stop texting me after every date whining about how he hadn’t fucked you,” Jaebum says earning a slap on the shoulder from Jinyoung. 

Jaebum looks over at Youngjae briefly only to see Youngjae squirming slightly in his chair, looking concerned, chewing on his lips and narrowing his eyes on his cupcake. Jaebum wonders then if Youngjae was uncomfortable with the sudden topic of Jinyoung’s sex life. They had never openly discussed their sexualities, but Jaebum had always figured Youngjae would be opened-minded.

“It was good, too. Mark has a _really_ nice co-”

“Okay, Jinyoung. That’s enough, you don’t need to go into detail,” Jaebum cut off, worried Youngjae would be even more uncomfortable. 

“Worried he was better than you,” Jinyoung snickered. 

“Don’t you need to get back to Yugyeom?” Jaebum says. He looks over at Youngjae in worry. He’s not ashamed of who he is, he’s been out for years, but if Youngjae isn’t comfortable with who he is then he’ll stop coming to the shop, and Jaebum doesn’t know if he’s ready to give Youngjae up yet. But when he looks over at Youngjae, the younger isn’t even paying attention, still deep into whatever thoughts are running through his head. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave, but not because you asked me to,” Jinyoung says, throwing his cupcake wrapper in the trash and brushing himself off. Youngjae finally looks up then, startled at the movement. “Goodbye, Youngjae. Congratulations again.” Youngjae waves goodbye as Jinyoung walks, smacking Jaebum on the back of the head on the way out. 

Jaebum turns to Youngjae as soon as Jinyoung leaves and finds the younger chewing on his lip again. “Youngjae, can I ask you something?”

“Huh? Oh, sure,” he answers, distracted. 

“Are you uncomfortable with Jinyoung being gay?” Jaebum wants to add _with me being gay,_ but keeps it to himself. Youngjae’s eyes widen and his head shakes frantically. 

“What? No! Of course not! The opposite, really,” Youngjae desperately, waving his hands around.

“Then what’s got you so distressed?” 

 

“It’s just Jinyoung hyung sounds so happy with Mark, I was just thinking about my own love life - or non-existent love live,” Youngjae sighs and Jaebum lets out a breath of relief that Youngjae wasn’t disgusted by him. 

“Still haven’t told that crush of yours how you feel, huh?” 

“No, I’m scared they don’t feel the same. In fact, I’m almost positive they don’t.” Youngjae fiddles with his fingers, not looking Jaebum in the eyes. Jaebum feels bad for him, the pains of unrequited love are all too familiar and Youngjae doesn’t deserve to go through it. 

“I know how you feel, but you’ll never know until you tell them, right?” Jaebum says, even though he would never follow that advice ever again. 

“Yeah, I guess, but I don’t know if it’s even worth it,” Youngjae murmurs, finally looking up at Jaebum. 

“If you think you can be happy with them then of course it’s worth it,” Jaebum says earnestly. He ruffles Youngjae’s hair and the younger leans into the to touch. 

“Thanks, hyung.” Youngjae finishes his cupcake, wiping his mouth and throwing the wrapper away. “Can I ask a favor?”

“Of course, anything.”

“I can't come to the store tomorrow because of recital rehearsal so can you work with me on Sunday?” Youngjae asks. 

“The shops closed on Sunday's, but you can stop by my apartment for a little while if you think you really need the practice,” Jaebum offers off handily, he doesn't really think Youngjae will need the extra practice after his rehearsal, but if he still is worried Jaebum will be there for him.

////

“No Youngjae today?” Jinyoung asks as him as he and Jaebum finish the lunch Jaebum packed for them.

“No he has rehearsal for the recital today so he can't come.”

“How sad; Jaebum can't see his little friend until next week,” Jinyoung mocks, gaining a snarl from Jaebum.

“I'll see him on Sunday, for your information. He's stopping by my apartment to run his songs again.” Jinyoung stops eating his dumpling and stares at the boy sitting across from him. “What?” Jaebum sighs, mouthful of food. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Jinyoung replies nonchalantly. “It’s just we’ve been friends for almost two years, we’ve slept together, and you’ve never invited _me_ to your apartment.”

“What can I say? I like Youngjae more than you.”

“Yeah, that’s obvious,” Jinyoung scoffs. 

“What’d you mean ’that’s obvious’,” Jaebum asks, turning to Jinyoung, brows furrowed. 

“It’s funny how you don’t see how far gone you are for him. It’s cute, really. Like a schoolgirl with her first crush.” 

Jaebum gawks at him, eyes wide. “I do not have a crush on Youngjae. Stop talking shit, you’re not making sense,” Jaebum rebucks Jinyoung’s idiot ideas, smacking the back of Jinyoung’s head. 

“Hey! Don’t be mad at me for telling you the obvious truth. Every time he walks in here you act like you're seeing the sun for the first time.”

“Shut up, Jinyoung,” Jinyoung groans. 

“Okay, okay. I get it, you’re in denial.”

“ _Jinyoung,_ ” Jaebum growls, ushing Jinyoung off his stool.

“Calm down, Bruce Banner, you’re turning green,” Jinyoung says, holding his hands up in defense. “I’m just saying.”

“I hate you,” Jaebum says, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I know,” Jinyoung grins, giving Jaebum a kiss on the cheek before running out of the store as Jaebum gets up to hit him. 

Jaebum sighs, picking up leftover trash. He doesn't have a crush on Youngjae. He's a grown man, grown men don't get crushes. He simply likes having Youngjae around. He makes him laugh and they fit well together. As friends.

///////

Jaebum hears the knocking at his door at 9 am. He groans, shoving a blanket off his face and onto Nora, who meows angrily at him. The banging continued and Jaebum throws the covers off his legs, cursing under his breath.

He swings the door open, ready to tell off whoever had the indecency to wake him up so early on a sunday, when he sees Youngjae’s face, worried and anxious, appear on the other side. His body instantly relaxes, anger leaving him completely as Youngjae smiles slightly at him.

“Sorry, hyung. Were you sleeping?” Youngjae says softly, biting his lip. “You were, weren't you? I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m sorry, I’ll come back later,” he says, turning to go down the hall. Jaebum grabs his arm, pulling him back. 

“It’s fine, Jae. Come in,” Jaebum says, voice cracking with sleep. Youngjae follows Jaebum into the small apartment, looking around him in wonder. Vinyls stacked up in towers next to the shelves of books, music stacked high by the keyboard along the wall. High tech stereos and amps for the guitar hanging on the wall placed in all the corners. It’s cluttered and almost too much for the room, but it screams Jaebum, every essence of who he is all in one room. 

“Have you had breakfast?” Jaebum asks, breaking Youngjae’s thoughts. 

“Oh, um, no. I didn’t.”

“C’mon then.”

Jaebum leads him into the tiny kitchen and Youngjae sits watching silently as the elder cooks for the two of the. They eat in relative silence, Youngae quickly eating his food and Jaebum drinking his coffee, watching the boy with fond eyes. Nora comes halfway through, cuddling up Youngjae instantly - until the younger boy sneezes. 

“Are you allergic?” Jaebum asks, grabbing Nora before she eats part of Youngjae’s breakfast. 

“Unfortunately,” Youngjae says sadly, petting Nora once before he sneezes again. Jaebum goes to put Nora in his bedroom, tucking her back into her bed.

“So,” Jaebum starts when he returns just as Youngjae finishes eating . “Is there a reason you’re here so early?” Youngjae takes one last sip of juice before wiping his mouth. 

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I’m so nervous, hyung. I need more practice.”

Jaebum can see the stress etched on Youngjae’s pale face, bags under his nervous eyes from the lack of sleep. 

“That’s fine, but calm down, ok? We can practice all day if you want. Though, I don’t think you need it.” Youngjae brightens at Jaebum’s words, smiling softly, before wrapping his arms tightly around Jaebum. He smells like the orange juice he just drank and of fresh laundry, the pair oddly comforting to Jaebum. Youngjae lets go and Jaebum almost pulls him back, but decides quickly against it, moving away from the table instead. 

Youngjae grabs his hands and drags him into the living room. He pulls out his music, both the piece Jaebum picked for him and the classical piece assigned to him from his teacher, and sits in front of the keyboard facing the wall. He waits for Jaebum to bring up a chair next to him and get situated before taking a deep breath and starting. 

“Your tempo is off,” Jaebum interrupts halfway through the second run. “Do you need a metronome?” Youngjae nods in agreement and Jaebum moves to his room to grab the wooden object situated on his desk. 

He comes back to Youngjae biting his bottom lip, peeling away the skin, and picking at his fingernails. Jaebum reaches to place the metrodome across from Youngjae just as the younger looks up at him. Youngjae is so close Jaebum can feel the hot, fruity breath on his neck. He can feel his heart speeding up, going faster than the ticks of the metronome keeping its pace. Jinyoung’s words from their previous conversation come ringing into his head and Jaebum feels his heart beat hard against his chest. Maybe it wasn't so ridiculous to think he has a crush of Youngjae. 

"Jaebum hyung?" Youngjae's voice calls out, pulling Jaebum back to reality.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" Youngjae asks, brows furrowed. 

"Um, yeah, Let's go again."

Jaebum helps Youngjae get his tempo right eventually without the metrodome's help. He knows it's just Youngjae's nerves messing him up, they’ve ran this perfectly hundreds of times and Jaebum hopes Youngjae can get out of his head and just play when the time comes. Youngjae continues to go over the song again and again as Jaebum makes them lunch, stressing over the chords over and over.

"What if my hand's tremor?" Youngjae says, picking at his ramen. 

"Youngjae, you've played this song a thousand and one times without any problem." 

“But, what if-”

“Youngjae,” Jaebum interrupts, putting a hand over Youngjae’s mouth. “You need to get out of your head, okay? Just let yourself play without thinking about it, you don’t need to, you know this, I know it.” 

“You put too much faith in me,” Youngjae sighs after he’s pulled Jaebum’s hand off his mouth. He doesn’t let go though, just holds lightly, running his fingers along the joints and callouses of Jaebum’s hand.

“No, you just don’t put faith in yourself,” Jaebum reassures, lightly ruffling Youngjae’s hair with his free hand. Youngjae leans into the touch for a moment before sighing softly. 

“Can we run it again?”


	3. An Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is unbeta'd and not even reread so im sorry for the mistakes that are definitely probably there.  
> for questions/concerns/comments u can ask me at @poutychoi or poutychoi.tumblr.com

Jaebum slides into the seat next to Jinyoung in the filled auditorium, Yugyeom smiling at him from the seat opposite of Jinyoung. He yawns tiredly, Youngjae had stayed at his apartment until late at night, running and rerunning his piece until Youngjae was so exhausted he fell asleep on the keys. It was too late for the public transportation to be open so Jaebum drove him home in his neighbor's car he borrows from time to time. Youngjae slept the whole way home and it was the most at peace Jaebum had seen him in weeks. 

He suddenly feels his phone vibrating in his back pocket and he stands again to pull it out only to see Youngjae’s name flashing on his phone. “Hello?” he asks, answering Youngjae’s call. 

“Hyung, are you here?” Youngjae sounds frazzled, rushing his words out.

“Of course we are, wouldn’t miss it.”

“Can you come backstage I’m freaking out, please?” 

“Yeah. I’ll be right there,” Jaebum says, before hanging up. He’s not even sure if he can go backstage, but he’ll find a way. Jinyoung looks over at him in question and Jaebum just tells him he’ll be back before it starts.

“Youngjae!” Jaebum calls from the stairway leading up to the backstage area. He can see the younger boy sitting at a distance with his arms wrapped around his knees, lip caught between his teeth. His head snaps to where he hears his name and sighs in relief when he sees Jaebum. 

“Hyung, thank god, I don’t think I can do this,” Youngjae whines when he makes his way over to where Jaebum is waiting. Jaebum takes more than a moment to take Youngjae in at a closer view, breath catching. His usually blond hair is dyed a dark, inky blue and is partially hidden by a large black hat that only Youngjae could pull off. He looks serious and professional in a white button up and wide rimmed glasses. He is stunning and terribly nervous. 

“Just remember what I told you. Just try to imagine you’re just singing to me, okay? You’ve sang this to me a thousand times, this is just another day in the shop. Just you and me,” Jaebum says. He can see Youngjae trying to take deep breaths, shutting his eyes tight. Jaebum hears someone behind Youngjae shout ‘five minutes!’ and he knows he has to get back to his seat. “I have to go back, alright? You’re going to do great, I know it. Just remember what I said.” Youngjae shakes his head and Jaebum hugs him tight before heading back the way he came.

He’s walking quickly, trying to get back around the masses of people filling the room, when he sees the blur of a too familiar face peek out from behind the curtain. He can feel his heart beat hard at the mere three second eye contact and he tries to convince the fear rushing through him that it isn’t who he thinks it is.

/////

“Are you worried about him?” Jinyoung asks as Jaebum sits back down next to him, finally making his way back to his seat. He had doubled his pace after he saw who he was denying was really there. The lights in the auditorium start to dim as one of the school’s professors comes onstage to announce the acts.

“I just… I know he can do it, but he’s so caught up in his own head, y’know?” Jaebum says as the host calls out Youngjae’s name. 

Youngjae walks on stage, scanning the crowd with wide eyes quickly before turning away.He bows slightly- catching his hat before it falls off his head- and Jaebum can already see his hands shaking slightly. 

Youngjae sits on the bench, taking in a deep breath. He gets through the required classical piece flawlessly, dark minor chords and smooth crescendos filling the full auditorium. He finishes and adjusts the one of the mics so now it’s in placed front of him instead of the piano. He introduces his previous song and the one he’s about to sing, his voice shaking slightly with nerves. Jaebum can see his eyes scanning the room until they fall on Jaebum. Youngjae gives him a small smile when Jaebum and Jinyoung both give him big smiles and two thumbs up, trying their best to encourage him. 

He plays the first chord and Jaebum can see him shift into the Youngjae he sees every time he sings for Jaebum. He’s serious and professional with just the right amount of emotion that it carries through the audience, capturing everyone's attention with his voice. He incorporates everything Jaebum has taught him without going too far away from what he’s learned from his professors. It’s everything Jaebum knows Youngjae is capable of and he doesn’t even know why he was worried, Youngjae’s got talent oozing out of him, there was no way he wouldn’t deliver. 

Youngjae finishes strongly, sounding out the last chord so it echoes through the room. The audience is silent while the piece ends before applauding loudly, people standing in ovation. Jaebum, Jinyoung, and Yugyeom join them, screaming Youngjae’s name as he blushes furiously at the attention. Jaebum feels his heart swell with what, if anyone asks, he’ll claim it’s pride. He forgets all about his encounter as he cheers and yells for Youngjae, laughing when Youngjae bows again - this time his hat falling off in front of him.

He can see Jinyoung smirking at him out of the corner of his eye, but he can't even find it in himself to do anything about it. Just because Jinyoung was right about something for once doesn't mean he has to admit it. 

They stay for the rest of the performances, all entertaining and talented performers, not as talented as Youngjae (in Jaebum’s _unbiased_ opinion) and Jaebum begins to think that maybe he had been seeing things. That is until the professor comes back onstage to announce the next performers - a duet of two girls he thought he’d never see again. 

Nayeon and Chaeyoung came into the company in the last year Jaebum was a trainee and the three of them became friends fast despite the difference in age and rank. They had a similar taste in music and Nayeon was the only female trainee that could keep up with him when he needed a partner. 

He hadn’t spoken to them since he _left_ the company. He feels the anxiety creeping through him that the secret he’s kept for so long could come easily be realised tonight. He had left that life behind and never looked back, he worked hard to make sure his past life made it’s way into his current one and it could all come crumbling down tonight. 

He watches Nayeon and Chaeyoung perform a re-arranged version of Goodbye Baby and while he’s anxious about them seeing him, he misses performing with them, more than he thought he did. He keeps his head low, leg jittering as they finish their song, bowing. Jinyoung looks over at him, whispering to him asking if he’s okay. Jaebum nods curtly, not wanting to raise his head. 

The professor announces the end of the show and Jaebum is ready to see Youngjae and leave as fast as he can. He can see Youngjae coming down from the stage stairs and he grabs Jinyoung and Yugyeom’s wrists, dragging him to the other boy. 

“Hyungs! Yugyeomie!” Youngjae calls when he sees them coming over, eyes brightening and smile widening. He throws his arms around Jaebum as soon as they reach him, throwing the older off balance. Jaebum can hardly breath with how hard Youngjae is holding him, but he can’t find it in himself to mind, and when Youngjae breaks off to hug Yugyeom and Jinyoung, he misses the warmth that spread through him at the younger’s touch. “I know I messed up a little, but it was still good, right?” 

“You were fantastic, not that any of us had our doubts,” Jinyoung says before Jaebum can begin his endless praises. 

“I didn’t even know you messed up,” Yugyeom says. “I don’t think anyone but you knew. Well maybe Jaebum with how focused he was on you.” Jaebum smacks Yugyeom on the shoulder, briefly catching Youngjae’s cheeks flush. 

“There’s some people I want you to meet!” Youngjae exclaims, pulling the three of them to a group of students standing in a huddle. “This is Jackson and Bambam,” Youngjae starts, pointing at two boys that Jaebum remembers did a rap duet during the show. “Mina, Momo, and Sana,” Youngjae adds, pointing to the trio that did a performance of Adult Ceremony that had Yugyeom squirming in his seat. “And this is Hunchel-- sorry, _Iron_.” Youngjae corrects himself as he points to a solo rapper Jaebum remembers being very impressed. 

Jaebum shakes hands with each other, telling them how much he enjoyed their performances. He wonders idly if Sana, Mina, or Momo are the girl Youngjae has the crush on; they’re certainly pretty enough and he sees Youngjae’s ears turn pink when they gush about how his song made them tear up.  
He’s too distracted with watching Youngjae to notice the two girl’s coming up behind him. “Im Jaebum, I thought that was you.” Jaebum flinches at the too familiar voice. Youngjae looks over at him and then behind them. Jaebum sighs, turning around to face Nayeon and Chaeyoung. 

“Nayeon, Chaeyoung, nice to see you again.” 

“Hyung, you know Nayeon noona and Chaeyoung?” Youngjae asks.

“Oh, we know each other _very_ well,” Naeyeon says in sickeningly sweet voice. “We used to tr-”

“We knew each other a long time ago.” Jaebum cuts her off, making her narrow her eyes at him suspiciously. He prays Naeyeon can find it in herself to play along with Jaebum. 

“Oh, really? Jaebum never told me he knew anyone who went here in our lessons...Hyung, did you know that Noona and Chaeyoung are trainees at the company down the block, isn’t that cool?!” Youngjae exclaims, curiosity gone and replaced with excitement. 

“You were very good up there, suprised you haven’t debuted yet,” Jaebum says, offhandedly, but the he is curious as to why they haven’t. When they trained together there had been a set debut plan for all of them; while things didn’t work out for Jaebum, the two girls should’ve debuted a months ago.

“Well we were _supposed_ to,” Nayeon grits out, lips pursing angrily. “But the debut date of the company’s boy group got pushed back because their leader went and go himself kicked out and because their debut got pushed back, so did ours.” Oh. _Oh._

“That’s so sad for the leader, though. What happened? Where is he now?” Yugyeom asks, unknowingly enthralled in the story of Jaebum’s banishment. He prays to every god that Nayeon can see that he’s trying to keep his past life a secret. 

“Last I heard he was giving music lessons to college students.” It isn’t as direct as it could be but he can feel the panic coursing through him that those around him would figure it out, most importantly, that Youngjae would figure it out. He didn’t want the younger to know how big of a failure he was, that the guy giving him advice all these months had been kicked out of his idol group a mere month away from debut. 

Jaebum looks over at Youngjae and could almost cry in relief when he sees the younger is distracted with something Iron is whispering in his ear. But with the way Jinyoung has his eyes narrowed at Jaebum, tells him that someone has figured it out.  
“Well Jaebum it was good to see you again,” Nayeon says curtly and Jaebum can’t even find it in himself to be mad at her attitude towards him. He left them with no excuse, didn’t even bother to answer their phone calls. He was ashamed and angry and didn’t want anything to do with any of the people who betrayed him. 

Youngjae turns back to them as Nayeon and Chaeyoung walk away, shouting his goodbyes at them. “We’re all going out to get meat, will you guys come?” he asks them hopefuly. 

Yugyeom agrees eagerly at the prospect of getting to spend more time with the girls, but Jinyoung politely declines because of plans with Mark. “Yeah, I’m gonna head home, too. Nora needs to be feed and I have to be up early to open the shop,” Jaebum says. Youngjae understands, giving him and Jinyoung big hugs and thanks again. 

Jinyoung is silent next to him for over half of the bus journey. Jaebum knows Jinyoung wants him to talk first by the glares he keeps sending Jaebum, but he’s not in the mood to talk about it and he wishes Jinyoung would just let it go. But Jinyoung is stubborn and they both know it. 

“So,” Jinyoung starts, making Jaebum sigh and clamp his eyes shut. “Why have you been lying to us.” 

“I haven’t been lying, I just didn’t tell you something.”

“You said you went to college for business, is that true?”

“No,” Jaebum sighs. “I didn’t go to college at all.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Jinyoung asks. 

“Because it’s not important; it’s nothing.”

“Bullshit,” Jinyoung yelps, gaining angry glares from the other passengers. “If it was nothing you wouldn’t have tried so hard to hide it. This is something important to and you lied to me about it. I’m your best friend Jaebum, I deserve to know something that’s important to you.” 

Jinyoung is right and Jaebum knows he is. He shouldn’t have tried to hid this from Jinyoung, or Youngjae, but it’s not something he was proud of and he had spent years trying to get rid of the the angry and ashamed feelings that fill him whenever he thinks of his past life. 

“Jinyoung, it’s not something I want to talk about. Drop it.” Jaebum gets off at the next stop, a few blocks from his own apartment and walks the rest of the way home.

////

It’s late when Jaebum wakes up to a pounding at him door. He can hear rain pelting down outside his window and he figures it must of started sometime after he fell asleep. The knocking gets louder and faster and he groans, throwing his comforter off his legs and shuffling to the door.

He expects the person on the other side of the door to be Jinyoung, ready to yell at him for the stunt he pulled earlier, curse him out and then apologize for yelling at him and probably saying things he didn’t really mean. 

What he doesn’t expect when he opens the door is Youngjae on his doorstep, soaking wet from the rain, sobbing.


End file.
